Sunday, September 23, 2012

Eddard "Ned" Stark - Lord of Winterfell

Yes, I have finally gotten to Ned Stark. Our sweet, naive Ned who is always full of honor. I have held off for awhile, but I really feel I must tell his story. So according to his wiki page, Ned is in his mid-thirties. The eff? Apparently I am just about his same age then! Ha ha, well his portrayer on the show is older, Sean Bean! Of Lord of the Rings fame. I just love him!

You have probably seen this iconic picture of our Ned in a Facebook meme

Here is what we already know: Ned is Lord of Winterfell and House Stark (basically the most important dude in the North). He is married to Catelyn of House Tully and has 5 kids with her (Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran and Rickon). He also has one bastard son name Jon Snow who represents the ONLY time that Ned was ever dishonorable. But maybe not? Jon Snow Theories Ned is total besties with King Robert Baratheon and later Hand of the King (begrudgingly). Oh Ned! Why did you ever go to King's Landing in the first place?

Reasons to love Ned: So Ned is the character who is prepped as a hero and we love him from the very beginning. Yes, he cuts off that one Wall deserter's head....but that's his job and the guy had it coming! And he even does that honorably. He is a great dad and all his kids love him. As does his wife. Even though he was second choice after his brother Brandon, Catelyn and Ned are solid. Being best friends with the King also doesn't hurt Ned's status in the realm. King Robert wants to marry his son/heir Joffrey to Ned's daughter Sansa and he wants Ned to be the Hand of the King. Well, this is only after his current Hand, Jon Arryn, dies unexpectely. Ned is not planning to accept the offer, but does so after learning that Robert's wife and her family might have had something to do with the death. He worries about his friend's safety and goes to King's Landing with Sansa and Arya in tow. Bran was supposed to go as well, but we all know what happened there!

I love the Stark family!!

More reasons to love Ned:  I am extending the love section because there is so much more to talk about. Ned is a great advisor to King Robert and gives his opinion even if it is unpopular. Like when Robert wants to have Daenerys killed because she is pregnant and he is scared she will come back to fight for the Iron Throne (not an entirely misguided fear). Ned would rather quit being the Hand if it means killing children. Ned is also a super sleuth. He is determined to find out the secret that got Jon Arryn killed and this gets him into a heap of trouble. Turns out, Arryn knew a secret! A big one! Guess what Robert..In the case of Joffrey and your other two children:

It's true! Joffrey is totally not Robert's heir. I don't see how no one figured this out earlier. But they don't have DNA technology in Westeros. They have to rely on the fact that Joffrey is "yellow of hair" and Robert is "black of hair". But all this aside. Joffrey is the product of twincest! His father is his Uncle Jaime!! Now THAT is a good episode of Maury.

Reasons to hate Ned: So it didn't take long for Ned to find out Cersei's deep dark secret. It is what he DOES with this information that makes one wonder if Ned is right in the head. He should have held onto it until the right time came to expose her to Robert. But no, he decides the honorable thing to do is tell CERSEI he knows..and she readily admits everything!

So now does he REALLY think Cersei is going to run off with her kids and never look back? Nope, Cersei uses this time to orchestrate Robert's death and letting Joffrey take the Iron Throne with herself as Queen Regent. And she finds out Ned is planning on heading back to Winterfell (thank you, Sansa) so she has him arrested for treason (thank you, Littlefinger). Ned really isn't supposed to die. Cersei just wants him to confess that he is a traitor and send him to The Wall. Poor honorable Ned wants to refuse, but decides that he will do it for his children. And then. AND THEN! Stupid bat-shit, incest-for-brains Joffrey chops off his head anyway. Even after promising Sansa that he definitely would not chop off her dad's head! So that's that for Ned Stark. Very shocking scene to everyone. Ned was supposed to win everything. Instead, he gets bested by a 13 year old snot.

Everybody Hates Joffrey

High School: Ned would just be a cool guy that everyone loved. Probably on the football team, though not the star player. He would have a nice, steady girlfriend and people would always go to him for advice. His best friend would be the star football player who would be dating the hottest girl in school. Ned finds out she is cheating on him and decides to tell her that he knows rather than telling his friend. She turns against him and gets the entire school to think he is a liar. He would be banished from popular society and eat lunch alone until college.

Let's Mix in Some Sticks: Well, Saucer already covered this one! Ned would totally be Brian Campbell of the Florida Panthers! If you haven't read her post yet, be sure to do so. Brian is very Nedd-ish and full of honor. You have to love the good guy (even though George RR Martin clearly does not)! We need a hockey team called the Direwolves with Brian as captain!

Sigh, I suppose there's always a glimmer of hope that Ned will come back as a zombie or something (like a certain other character who I won't mention just yet..) But even a zombie would have a hard time without a damn head! Ugh, Joffrey!!


Emmy Looks and Updates

Okay, I am totally watching E! right now waiting for Ryan Seacrest to interview some of my Game of Thrones actors. Maybe even some dragons! So far, only Lena Headey (Cersei) has surfaced. Well, the only one I can find a picture of! I will be updated as I see pictures to post. I know our man Peter Dinklage is there somewhere. I want Seacrest to interview him!

Lena looks so pretty, but not at all like Cersei!

Yes!! Robb Stark and Dany <3

 TYRION!! He better win..


Saturday, September 22, 2012

Davos Seaworth - The Onion Knight

Davos Seaworth is one of the rare characters in ASOIAF that actually seems normal. To me, he is a strong voice of reason in this crazy world. He is dutiful and does what he is told. He never forgets where he came from and tries to give advice when he knows there's trouble brewing. Davos is one of my favorite characters. He is quite subtle, but very important. I was actually planning on doing the post on Wednesday, in honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day. Davos is pretty much a pirate isn't he? Here is a picture of our guy, played by Liam Cunningham (who seems very familiar to me, what else has he been in?). He has a Twitter and it pretty much rocks. Follow him at

All right, so a bit of historical background. Davos is of a very low birth (Flea Bottom) and lived a life of hardship. It led to him becoming a smuggler, a very good smuggler! He sailed the seas on a ship named Black Betha (love it), married and had seven sons. But Davos' greatest acheivement comes during Robert's Rebellion and the Siege of Storm's End, Davos smuggled food (mostly onions) to the castle where Stannis Baratheon and his men were held. It ensured that they wouldn't starve until Ned Stark got there to end the siege. As a reward, Stannis knighted him and he earned the nickname the Onion Knight. Stannis, a just man, also felt he needed to be punished for his past crimes. Davos had to cut off the first joints of the fingers of his left hand. Davos just LOVED this punishment and wanted Stannis to cut off the fingers. He wears the joints in a pouch around his neck because he believes they are lucky. His service to Stannis assures him and his family a proper future. Stannis and Davos are total besties.

Reasons to Love Davos: I will have to go into Stannis in another post, but I will just say that he isn't a very lovable guy. He is all business and absolutely no pleasure. Even his brother, King Robert, doesn't particularly care for him. Everyone loves Renly, the littlest Baratheon brother. When it comes time for a new king, both Stannis and Renly want that throne. And honestly, Stannis really does have the better claim but that darn Renly is so charming and handsome. The only one Stannis can rely in his loyal knight Davos. Davos is there til death do they part. His loyalty is pretty much unmatched by any character. Stannis knows he can trust Davos and gets his advice for everything. And Davos doesn't lie. Stannis has an interesting ally in a witchy red woman named Melisandre. Davos does NOT like this woman and tries his damndest to make Stannis see that she is nothing but trouble. Especially with her wacky new religion that Stannis embraces. Davos never truly accepts this religion, but remains loyal to Stannis. Even when he gets stuck in a cave with Melisandre and she gives birth to a shadow assassin (wtf?!) Seriously, watch this video, it's only a minute. Yes, she is naked (it's HBO)!

This same shadow assassin will later go on to kill Renly!! Noooooo! Davos is so right not to trust her. Stannis is mad at his pesky little brother, but I doubt he wanted him dead. Not until Melisandre came along anyway. Davos spends much of the books trying to make Stannis see that Melisandre sucks and is evil. Too bad Melisandre can read minds and knows Davos is out to get her. Ugh, she is lame. But really, really pretty and Stannis is totally under her spell.

Davos also is illiterate, but learns to read. And by doing this, he reads a letter from The Wall and finds out they are being attacked and encourages Stannis to help. This really helps Stannis' cause (you don't see Joffrey at The Wall) so yay for Davos!

Reasons to Hate Davos: There is no reason to hate Davos. I guess he didn't do so hot during the Battle of Blackwater, but that wasn't his fault. That darn Tyrion and his wildfire. He really did a number on Davos' ships!

Oh Crap!

Davos is just such an easy person to like. He is loyal, but questions authority in a reasonable manner. He is honest and is a voice of reason for Stannis. I feel like he represents the "everyman" in the ASOIAF universe. He is easy to relate to and you can't help but root for him..even if you are not on Stannis' side (which I am not). That's what I love about these books. It makes it hard to decide what you want to happen! Like during the Battle of Blackwater, you really do want Stannis to win because Joffrey sucks. But if Joffrey loses, Tyrion might get killed. So you find yourself rooting for Tyrion, but then you see that poor Davos is on those boats. I am just so conflicted!

High School: This one is hard because in order to figure out Davos, you have to figure out Stannis first. I don't thing Stannis would even be a student. He would be a scary math teacher that everyone hates, and Davos is his star pupil! Davos would start out as a terrible student who hangs out with the wrong crowd. Stannis would see something in him and force him to study until Davos becomes a math genius. Stannis is a mean, but fair teacher and Davos would respect him and defend him to all the other students. It would be very "Dangerous Minds".

Let's Mix in Some Sticks: Since we are talking loyalty, Davos would totally be Ian Laperrière. "Lappy" is super loyal to his team and teammates and is very popular with fans for this reason. He was popular on the Avalanche team, but eventually moved to the Flyers (Saucer, I did my research and I bet you love him)! Lappy is loyal to a fault like Davos and has taken a bunch of hits in the face by pucks that were meant for teammates. Like Davos' finger stumps, these injuries have taken a toll on him. He had to retire early due to head injuries. He is now a mentor to young players who will hopefully appreciate his team loyalty.

What a Nice Guy!

"An admiral without ships, a hand without fingers, in service of a king without a throne. Is this a knight who comes before us, or the answer to a child's riddle?” A Dance With Dragons


Friday, September 14, 2012

Theon Greyjoy - Ironborn

Theon Greyjoy is another one of those characters I am conflicted about. What is strange is that I really didn't like him in the books..even HATING him at times. However, TV show Theon is doing a great job of making me like him. For me TV Theon > Book Theon. In part due to his portrayer, Alfie Allen.

Theon is always pissed off

Now don't get me wrong, I still think Theon is a huge dickhead. The things he does are horrible and inexcusable. But his history explains his actions somewhat. Plus I am currently reading "A Dance With Dragons" and..POOR THEON!! No one deserves what he is currently going through. Effing Ramsay Bolton.

So a bit of background for this complex guy: Theon is the heir to the Iron Islands and House Greyjoy. The Greyjoys are hardcore sailors and really, really mean. Not long before the beginning of the books, they tried to break away from the seven kingdoms and be independent. They totally rebelled against the Iron Throne, but ultimately lost to Robert Baratheon and Ned Stark. Balon Greyjoy, Lord of the Iron Islands, surrendered and gave up his only surviving son (Theon) to Ned Stark as a hostage. This was to ensure he wouldn't attack a second time.

Except being a "hostage" at Winterfell really isn't that bad of a gig. Ned Stark, being Ned-ish, is very kind to Theon and he is raised as one of his own. Theon and Robb are very close and think of each other as brothers. He fights with Jon Snow a lot, but Jon is all moody anyway. Other than that, Theon is loyal to the Starks and even fights by Robb's side when the War begins. Robb has a great idea to release Theon to go to his father to ask for help fighting against the Lannisters. And what a horrible decision! Theon ends up bullying poor little crippled Bran and taking over Winterfell! What a douche.

Reasons to love Theon: Well, there honestly isn't much to love about Theon except that you do feel sorry for him. I think he really would like to remain loyal to the Starks, especially Robb, but his desire to impress his father is just too much. When he returns to his father, he is greeted with anything but a warm welcome. His father thinks he is a lost cause and the Starks have tainted him beyond repair. And he absolutely does NOT want to help Robb in the war. Theon also gets to meet his sister, Asha (the show renames her Yara). Check out this exchange.

Asha/Yara totally tricked him into being like the Lannister twins! She does this to humiliate him. Asha/Yara is the dad's favorite now. I actually must commend the Ironborn for taking women seriously. She and the father both see her as the new heir and Theon feels like an outcast. He is given a ship called Sea Bitch (ha!) and he is not taken seriously as captain. In order to gain respect, Theon feels he must do something drastic to show his dad he is his true heir. Ugh, you can almost hear that one whiny Simple Plan song "Perfect" playing in the background of Theon/Balon scenes.

Reasons to hate Theon: So Theon's awesome idea for impressing his stupid dad (who's mind is clearly made up)? Well, to take over Winterfell! And with Ned dead (R.I.P.), Robb off to war and Jon Snow at The Wall, the one holding Winterfell is Bran. Yes, little crippled Bran and six year old Rickon are the only Starks at Winterfell when Theon comes to attack. And the sad thing is, Theon can't even do that right! Bran and Rickon escape and everyone just laughs at him. In desperation, he finds to miller's boys and pretends like they are Bran and Rickon and hangs them. He covers them in tar so no one knows the truth.

Not our boys, but still sad to kill children!

The thing is, no one knows the truth. Catelyn and the rest of the Starks truly believe Bran and Rickon are dead and it's heartbreaking. It even leads Catelyn to make the moronic decision to let Jaime Lannister go free. So Theon causes a lot of damage. Even his sister thinks he sucks at decision-making. He asks for her help and she refuses. So Theon's decision alienates him from both his father and the Stark's sides. He is screwed. It gets worse when Ramsay Bolton comes along and burns down Winterfell and takes Theon prisoner. This is where I am in the books. Theon is being tortured horribly by Ramsay and it's actually quite sad. If only he would have stayed and helped Robb. : (

High School: Theon would totally be a wannabe gangster in high school. You know the type! He would act all thuggish when he was really just a big wuss that lives in a nice neighborhood. Let's just say he'd be pretty fly for a white guy! Ha ha. He would talk a lot of crap, but be scared to back it up. He would pick on people weaker than him to prove his so-called bad ass behavior. As for girls, he would be a total player and be known to "hit it and quit it". He would start out high school with some nice friends from his childhood. He would then totally ditch them to gain approval from the cool gangster crowd. And he would not impress them in the least! He would also get beat up a lot by this same crowd. High school Theon would totally suck at life!

Let's Mix In Some Sticks: Poor Saucer. I just want to say that I am heartbroken for her over the lockout. She is seriously one of the biggest hockey fans I have ever known and now she doesn't have a season to look forward to. I feel so bad! I have never watched hockey, but I was planning on it this year. But now I can't and I am sad! But not as sad as poor Saucer. At least we have the blog to comfort us! And I am recommending that she read ASOIAF to occupy her mind during this difficult time. : )

But back to Theon and his hockey counterpart. I say it would be Sean Avery. He is know for making some asshole remarks and is not well liked by many of his teammates. Like Theon, he has a hard time fitting in but probably is misunderstood in a lot of ways. The both make up their own rules (see: The Sean Avery Rule) and things don't really work out for them. He also bullies other players like Theon bullied Bran. Sean is now retired because no one wants him on their team. Hopefully he won't suffer the same fate as Theon in the torture dungeon!


Petyr Baelish - Littlefinger

Beddee has been slacking on her blog this week. I blame the onslaught of new televison shows (and old favorites) distracting me from precious blogging time. They aren't Game of Thrones, but there are some pretty entertaining shows out there. But..I am back! And I have decided to profile the one Littlefinger. Behold!

Ick, look at that smug face! Now I am not the biggest Littlefinger fan, but I do admit that he makes things interesting. His real name is Petyr (with a y) Baelish but no one seems to call him that. They call him Littlefinger, but I can't really figure out why. Something to do with his family holdings or whatever. One ASOIAF website claims it is because he is short, but that is just stupid..I don't know. I will just go with it! Littlefinger is very smart with money and even becomes Master of Coin for the King at one point. He owns a bunch of brothels, which makes him a whole lot of money. Despite the fact that his family is pretty low on the totem poll, he manages to become the Lord of Harrenhal AND Lord Protector of the Vale. Not bad Littlefinger! He is also hopelessly in love with Catelyn Stark, almost to an obsessive point. Too bad she is already married to our hero, Ned.

One Solid Couple

Back in the day, Catelyn and LF were very close and he wanted to marry her. But she only thought of him as a friend and was betrothed to Brandon Stark (Ned's brother). Our man Littlefinger challenged him to a duel for her hand and promptly lost. Catelyn was pissed and didn't talk to him for a long time. Not even when Brandon died and she married Ned instead. She eventually forgave him though and he later extended his Catelyn crush to Sansa. Hey, if you can't have the mom, how about her 13 year old daughter? Sansa wasn't into it either. Sigh, but there IS one person of Tully blood who just loves Littlefinger. Lysa! She of the creepy breastfeeding.

Shudder (no offense to the actress)

Though he does eventually use her crush to his advantage, Lysa is no Catelyn or Sansa!!

Reasons to love Littlefinger: Well I suppose Littlefinger should be commended for getting Sansa out of Kings Landing. She would have had a tough time without him. And he is helping her become a stronger and more powerful woman. He is also cunning, smart and witty. And I think he is under the radar so no one really considers him a threat. They underestimate him and I feel that is a mistake. Plus, without him, where would Tyrion find all the good whores? No one runs a brothel like Littlefinger! He is like the Hugh Hefner of Westeros.

Reason to hate Littlefinger: Ugh, he totally betrayed Ned Stark!! Damn him.

Why is Joffrey always everywhere?

This reason alone should make me hate him for the whole rest of the series, but I just can't. I am sure old Ned is spinning (headless) in his grave knowing that Littlefinger has his daughter. But hopefully it will all work out. Littlefinger also kills with no emotion. If someone needs to be dead to suit his agenda, he kills them (or has them killed) without shedding one tear. So he is really like a Hugh Hefner/Dexter hybrid!

High School: Littlefinger would totally be that guy who is always hanging out with the cool kids, but no one can remember how he got popular. With the ability to manipulate the majority of the the student body, he would quickly gain more and more popularity until he was prom king. Although the popular girls would like him, it would only be on a friendly level and never romantic. He would have to settle for the slutty girls who would flock to his side. No one throws a better high school party than Littlefinger. Girls, booze and bling would flow everywhere. Speaking of bling, high school Littlefinger would be covered with it! And he would have a chain wallet.

Let's Mix in Some Sticks: Biznasty, Littlefinger would be Biznasty (real name: Paul Bissonnette) 100%. Both have a dumb nicknames and both think they are super clever. I only really know about Biznasty through Twitter and he comes off as very arrogant. If Littlefinger had the technology to tweet, he would be just like him. Although I don't know a lot about his hockey playing skills, his wiki page doesn't boast a whole lot. So I am thinking he isn't the best player out there. Littlefinger wouldn't be either. They both rely on their so-called wit and charm to gain popularity. Biznasty should go to Westeros and hang out in one of Littlefinger's brothels!

LOL Nice Picture

Ugh, Biznasty would totally betray Ned Stark too! I just hope he doesn't gain as much as Littlefinger probably will in the near future.


Sunday, September 9, 2012

Sansa Stark - Princess of Winterfell

Sansa Stark is a great character with many flaws. But she is also one of my favorites. Maybe it's because I can identify with her even though her actions cause a chain of events that totally ruin everything! I give you the infamous Sansa!

Sansa always looks sad, but for good reason. Her life kind of sucks for the majority of the series. But it's all her own doing so it's hard to feel sorry for her. Except, I still do. I think she gets more than her fair share of karma for her mistakes. And it was all because of a stupid boy! This guy:

Ha ha, this picture rules

I really like the actress who plays Sansa, it would be a tough (though fun) role to play. She is played by Sophie Turner who actually has a twitter account! Follow her here: But be warned that she is 16 and like Maisie Williams before her, she will make you feel old! I read an article that tells how she she adopted the dog that plays her ill-fated direwolf, Lady. This gets her extra bonus points from me..check out this adorable picture of the two of them. Awww!

So Sansa starts out with a pretty sweet life. She is the eldest daughter of Lord Eddard (Ned) and Catelyn Stark and is a lady in every sense of the word. She is quite the opposite of her little sister Arya and only wants to possess all the qualities of a young female of her status. She enjoys singing, dancing, embroidery and all other "womanly" activities. But most of all, Sansa likes BOYS! She loves tales of famous knights and dreams of great romance. She is a lot like Saucer in that she develops a huge crush on Ser Loras Tyrell, the Knight of Flowers.

Swoon!! Sansa = Saucer

But what Sansa wants most is to be married to her betrothed, Prince Joffrey (heir to the Iron Throne). But things go south, Joffrey shows his true colors and she ends up married to!

Reasons to love Sansa: Sansa turns out to be a pretty cool chick and is very smart. Although she ends up as a prisoner, she manages to act the part of a proper lady who is beyond thrilled to marry Joffrey even though he..uh, you know what he does to her daddy Ned. I am not even going to say it!

I must say that Sansa holds up very well considering the circumstances. If it were me, I would have curled up in a little ball and gotten my own head chopped off for trying to kill Joffrey. I just hate that kid! Sansa has to learn how to survive on her own and is plotting her escape throughout the books and is eventually successful. Granted she has to trust that darn Littlefinger, but at least she is better off with him than at King's Landing. Sansa turns the head of many an old dude. We have already discussed her weird relationship with The Hound, but Littlefinger also has a little thing for her. Plus, she is forced to marry Tyrion (more on that in a different post). Luckily, Tyrion is super cool about the whole thing and treats her kindly and she doesn't even have to have sex with him. Thank goodness for his whores! Judging by the end of the fourth book, I am also thinking that Sansa might now be a player (rather than a pawn) in the game of thrones! Go Sansa!

Reasons to hate Sansa: Okay so everything I said in the love section..all of it is Sansa's own stupid fault! She has such a one track mind about marrying Joffrey that she fails to listen to her dad about leaving King's Landing. She is pretty mean to Arya too and is always making fun of her for being a tomboy. Plus, she STILL likes Joffrey even though she sees first hand that he is a big, huge jerk when he has her direwolf killed. But the worst part about Sansa is that she tells freaking Cersei, of all people, of her father's plan to send her and Arya home. This one idiotic move causes a chain of events where all goes to hell and Sansa ends up in her predicament. Way to be a rebel, Sansa, look what you have done!

High School: Oh weren't all us girls just like Sansa in high school? She would be a sweet, pretty girl who would be super interested in boys. Sansa's crushes would range from the popular jocks to the class president. She would put her interest in boys above all else, but would have a close group of girlfriends (also very interested in the opposite sex). Her little sister would be a pest and embarrass her in front of her many crushes. Although she loves her family, Sansa would be a bit of a rebel and stay out too late on her dates. But the worst thing: She would end up dating the cute and horrible son of her dad's boss, tells a secret and get her dad fired!! Oh Sansa..

Let's Mix in Some Sticks: Well obviously Sansa would never EVER play hockey herself. She is far too ladylike for that. She would totally be the head of all trophy wives, Carrie Underwood! Carrie is married to Mike Fisher of the Nashville Predators and is probably the most known hockey wife. Although Sansa is not a huge singing sensation like Carrie, she has been known to charm people with her voice. Carrie and Sansa are both beautiful and smart and have had many suitors. I could totally see Sansa cheering on her hockey husband like Carrie. This is, of course, if her husband is NOTHING like Joffrey (which I am assuming Mike Fisher is not).

Cheering on her hubby!!

Much better than groveling

Hopefully Ms. Sansa Stark will turn out just fine and she can live her dream!!


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Sandor Clegane - The Hound

The Hound is seriously one character I feel completely conflicted about. I think we are being set up to hate the guy. Maybe I just try to see the good in people (except Joffrey, The Mountain and Qyburn), but I don't think Sandor is heartless. Maybe just misunderstood? He is such an enigma! Is he bad? Is he good? Is he a pervy chimo? Is he not a pervy chimo? Is he dead? Is he alive? I could go on and on! But the thing is..I don't know the answer to any of these questions! One thing we can all agree on. The Hound is one ugly dude. (No offense to his portrayer, Rory McCann, who is quite lovely in real life).

To be fair, Sandor probably wouldn't be so ugly if half his face wasn't burnt off. He is quite sensitive about this. It was burnt by his brother (the truly evil Gregor aka The Mountain) when he was a child. His dad covered up this fact by saying that Sandor was burnt by his bedding when it caught on fire. This makes Sandor hate his brother, fire and even knighthood. One could say he has a big old chip on his shoulder. People call him The Hound for a variety of reasons. One is only because his family's crest is 3 dogs. Oh and his helmet looks like this.

The Hound is considered a great fighter, but refuses to be a knight because he thinks it's lame or something. He instead joins House Lannister where Joffrey just loves him. He is also called The Hound because of his obedience to his masters. Ugh, obedient to Joffrey..I can't even think about it!

Reasons to hate Sandor: I am going to do the hate section first again because I believe we are supposed to hate The Hound. Although not as bad as his brother, he is pretty brutal and murders without having a major problem with it. He earns a place on Arya's death list when he kills her friend Mycah, the butcher's boy. He does this for Joffrey's benefit and it's really mean. He also helps kill Ned Stark's entourage and doesn't seem to feel bad about any of his murders. It's just something he does. He later kidnaps Arya and they have quite an adventure. He is also a huge drunk and gets really sloppy a lot of the time.

Sansa Stark: I am putting the Sansa situation in the middle of my love and hate section because I really don't know what to think about it. The Hound takes a liking to Sansa (who is 13), but it's really not clear why. We only get Sansa's point of view and she doesn't have the best memory or sense. He calls her "little bird" and protects her from Joffrey's wrath whenever possible. He also saves her from being raped from an angry mob. After the Battle of Blackwater, there is a bit of an incident with the two of them when Sandor is planning to escape. Sansa seems to think they kiss but I don't think they actually do. Fans call this the UnKiss. Me, I honestly don't think Sandor is a pervert. I think he likes Sansa because she is beautiful and delicate and he wants to protect her. He is a little crazy and probably scares her, but I really don't think he wants to do her any harm. It's so weird because they are HUGE in the fanfiction community! I suppose he is better than Joffrey!

And the FF community goes wild!

Reasons to love the Hound: This one is for you Saucer! The Hound totally saves Loras from his terrible brother The Mountain. This alone should make Sandor A-Ok. Loras would most likely be dead if it wasn't for him. Check it out here:

Another great reason to like The Hound is the fact that he ditches Joffrey after the Battle of Blackwater and tells him to fuck off. Ha ha, he has go on the run after that, but it was so worth it! Poor guy was scared of the wildfire and you can't blame him for that.

High School: Can you say emo kid?! Oh Sandor would totally be emo. He wouldn't like the popular kids at all and would be against organized sports. He is not good looking and would have scars all over his face. His brother would be a huge bully and he is embarrassed by him. As for friends, he wouldn't really have any. He might hang out with one asshole brat in one of his classes from time to time, but wouldn't really like him. He would drink heavily by himself during lunch and rarely make it to class. Teachers hate Sandor for getting into a ton of fights and he would always be getting suspended. Sandor is older than the other students due to being held back a lot. He would have a crush on a popular girl who was polite to him a couple times, but he never asks her out. And other girls would never even look twice at him. Aww, Sandor's high school life is totally depressing me! But it's spot on. Hmm, let's make him have something happy in his life. I know! He would volunteer at the animal shelter and taking the dogs for walks. That's all I got!

Let's Mix in Some Sticks: First of all, we will just have to pretend Sandor would actually be on a real hockey team in the first place. Realistically, he would probably just be the best street hockey player in his neighborhood. But since I need to pick out a player he is like, I would probably go with Zdeno Chára of the Boston Bruins. This guy has the brutality and attitude of The Hound. I am going to zero in on the Pacioretty Incident in which Chára injured another hockey player named Max Pacioretty during a game. This poor guy was left with a severe concussion and cracked vertebra thanks to Chára. The police were even investigating it for awhile! But Chára didn't really seem all that put out or sorry about it. He seemed to think that it was just part of the game so whatever. Pacioretty = The Butcher's Boy. Let's put him on Arya's list! But like The Hound, I am sure he isn't all that bad. He is married and has a little daughter. I am sure they soften him up a little bit off the ice.

If only I had photoshop..The Hound's helmet would SO be on Chára's head right now!


Monday, September 3, 2012

Samwell Tarly - Sam the Slayer

And here we are with Samwell (Sam). Sam is a subtle character, but proves to be very important. Those new to watching Game of Thrones best know him as that fat kid who is always hanging out with Jon Snow. They would not be wrong. Sam considers Jon his "bestie" and is always wandering around Castle Black and beyond with him.

BFFs 4 Life

Poor Sam. He is really fat, really cowardly and his backstory just about breaks my heart. Sam's father is Lord Randyll Tarly. As you can tell by his name, he is very important since he is a Lord and all. Lord Randyll had high hopes for Sam, his heir. But Sam was never interested in fighting or violence. He prefers reading, art and music. This frustrated his dad to no end and tried to toughen him several times to no avail. When he eventually had another son who was more to his liking, he decided to make the younger son his heir instead. So he told Sam to join the Night's Watch. It was that, or he would see that Sam suffered an unfortunate hunting "accident". Nice dad. Sam decided that he was too young to die, so he headed on up to The Wall and he was scared to death. Here is where he suffers many rude nicknames reserved for the overweight. Ser Piggy and Lord of Ham etc. But despite his cowdardly ways, Sam can totally kick ass when he absolutely has too. Like when weird ass zombie people (seriously what ARE those things) come to attack everyone.

Reasons to love Sam: Sam is easy to root for because you just feel so darn sorry for him! And then when Jon decides to protect him from the other meanies in the Night's Watch, it just makes you love Jon THAT must more. Check out this video of poor Sam trying to "fight" one of his fellow brothers.

Jon saves the day! Hooray! But before you write Sam off as Jon's sidekick, he really does come into his own eventually. When he has to go out beyond The Wall, he has many strange encounters. He even meets a girl, Gilly! She is one of gross old Craster's wife/daughter combinations (uh ewww) and she is pregnant. But Sam feels empathy towards her and eventually helps her escape. And (spoiler alert) he even gets laid! Go Sam.

Gilly is pretty cute for an inbred chick

Sam not only has a way with the ladies, he also holds his own in an Others/White Walkers attack, even killing one with a piece of dragonglass. All of his brothers are pretty impressed and he earns the nickname "Sam the Slayer" and is pretty embarrassed about the whole thing.

Reasons to hate Sam: Sam is very annoying a lot of the time. I hate to say it, but it's true. He is always whining about how he is such a coward when it's been proven otherwise over and over again. It's almost like he is fishing for compliments. Even Jon gets sick of him and sends him off on a boat with Gilly and Master Aemon to study abroad. You would think Sam would like this turn of events, but he just gets worried that Jon doesn't like him anymore. His lack of confidence gets really old and I find myself dreading his chapters a lot of the time. Luckily, he finally snaps out of it when he hears some cool stories about dragons and decides to go look for them (and hopefully Dany)!

Quit feeling sorry for yourself killed one of these guys!

High School: Ugh, I was just imagining how annoying Sam's Facebook page would be if he had one.

Samwell Tarly is sad because he is a coward and nobody likes him.
   Jon Snow: Sam, how many times must I tell you that you are cool and braver than you think.
   Grenn: Shut up Ser Piggy! You know you are great.
   Gilly: You are super, super awesome Sam.
   Samwell Tarly: I still think I suck.

It would go on and on. Sam would always be feeling sorry for himself and everyone would have to constantly reassure him. So he would be a typical teenager! A fat and dorky one who would love his theater class and be in Honor's English. He wouldn't like P.E. at all, especially getting changed in the locker room. Although he would lack confidence, he would have an ultra cool best friend who would make sure the other kids were nice to him. As for girls, I think they would love Sam and always go to him for dating advice. They would never think of Sam as a potential boyfriend, which would frustrate him. But maybe there would be one super shy and weird girl that would eventually give him a chance.

Let's Mix in Some Sticks: So I once again consulted Saucer about who would be a Samwell-esque hockey player. I knew there wouldn't be a clear answer, given Sam's unsporty and overweight description. But there is one hockey player named Dustin Brown of the Los Angeles Kings that could probably relate to Sam. I looked at his wiki page here and found out that Dustin was a victim of bullying! After further investigation, I discovered that he started out as a young teenager and was mocked by a teammate for having a lisp and a not-hot girlfriend (Gilly??). After reading another article, it seems as though he didn't reach his full potential until the bully, a fellow named Sean Avery, was off his team for good. Now he is a captain and a real winner. Plus he seems humble and does a lot of charity work. Sounds a lot like our Samwell Tarly!

OMG they are standing exactly the same way!