Davos Seaworth - The Onion Knight

Davos Seaworth is one of the rare characters in ASOIAF that actually seems normal. To me, he is a strong voice of reason in this crazy world. He is dutiful and does what he is told. He never forgets where he came from and tries to give advice when he knows there's trouble brewing. Davos is one of my favorite characters. He is quite subtle, but very important. I was actually planning on doing the post on Wednesday, in honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day. Davos is pretty much a pirate isn't he? Here is a picture of our guy, played by Liam Cunningham (who seems very familiar to me, what else has he been in?). He has a Twitter and it pretty much rocks. Follow him at https://twitter.com/liamcunningham1.

All right, so a bit of historical background. Davos is of a very low birth (Flea Bottom) and lived a life of hardship. It led to him becoming a smuggler, a very good smuggler! He sailed the seas on a ship named Black Betha (love it), married and had seven sons. But Davos' greatest acheivement comes during Robert's Rebellion and the Siege of Storm's End, Davos smuggled food (mostly onions) to the castle where Stannis Baratheon and his men were held. It ensured that they wouldn't starve until Ned Stark got there to end the siege. As a reward, Stannis knighted him and he earned the nickname the Onion Knight. Stannis, a just man, also felt he needed to be punished for his past crimes. Davos had to cut off the first joints of the fingers of his left hand. Davos just LOVED this punishment and wanted Stannis to cut off the fingers. He wears the joints in a pouch around his neck because he believes they are lucky. His service to Stannis assures him and his family a proper future. Stannis and Davos are total besties.

Reasons to Love Davos: I will have to go into Stannis in another post, but I will just say that he isn't a very lovable guy. He is all business and absolutely no pleasure. Even his brother, King Robert, doesn't particularly care for him. Everyone loves Renly, the littlest Baratheon brother. When it comes time for a new king, both Stannis and Renly want that throne. And honestly, Stannis really does have the better claim but that darn Renly is so charming and handsome. The only one Stannis can rely in his loyal knight Davos. Davos is there til death do they part. His loyalty is pretty much unmatched by any character. Stannis knows he can trust Davos and gets his advice for everything. And Davos doesn't lie. Stannis has an interesting ally in a witchy red woman named Melisandre. Davos does NOT like this woman and tries his damndest to make Stannis see that she is nothing but trouble. Especially with her wacky new religion that Stannis embraces. Davos never truly accepts this religion, but remains loyal to Stannis. Even when he gets stuck in a cave with Melisandre and she gives birth to a shadow assassin (wtf?!) Seriously, watch this video, it's only a minute. Yes, she is naked (it's HBO)!

This same shadow assassin will later go on to kill Renly!! Noooooo! Davos is so right not to trust her. Stannis is mad at his pesky little brother, but I doubt he wanted him dead. Not until Melisandre came along anyway. Davos spends much of the books trying to make Stannis see that Melisandre sucks and is evil. Too bad Melisandre can read minds and knows Davos is out to get her. Ugh, she is lame. But really, really pretty and Stannis is totally under her spell.

Davos also is illiterate, but learns to read. And by doing this, he reads a letter from The Wall and finds out they are being attacked and encourages Stannis to help. This really helps Stannis' cause (you don't see Joffrey at The Wall) so yay for Davos!

Reasons to Hate Davos: There is no reason to hate Davos. I guess he didn't do so hot during the Battle of Blackwater, but that wasn't his fault. That darn Tyrion and his wildfire. He really did a number on Davos' ships!

Oh Crap!

Davos is just such an easy person to like. He is loyal, but questions authority in a reasonable manner. He is honest and is a voice of reason for Stannis. I feel like he represents the "everyman" in the ASOIAF universe. He is easy to relate to and you can't help but root for him..even if you are not on Stannis' side (which I am not). That's what I love about these books. It makes it hard to decide what you want to happen! Like during the Battle of Blackwater, you really do want Stannis to win because Joffrey sucks. But if Joffrey loses, Tyrion might get killed. So you find yourself rooting for Tyrion, but then you see that poor Davos is on those boats. I am just so conflicted!

High School: This one is hard because in order to figure out Davos, you have to figure out Stannis first. I don't thing Stannis would even be a student. He would be a scary math teacher that everyone hates, and Davos is his star pupil! Davos would start out as a terrible student who hangs out with the wrong crowd. Stannis would see something in him and force him to study until Davos becomes a math genius. Stannis is a mean, but fair teacher and Davos would respect him and defend him to all the other students. It would be very "Dangerous Minds".

Let's Mix in Some Sticks: Since we are talking loyalty, Davos would totally be Ian Laperrière. "Lappy" is super loyal to his team and teammates and is very popular with fans for this reason. He was popular on the Avalanche team, but eventually moved to the Flyers (Saucer, I did my research and I bet you love him)! Lappy is loyal to a fault like Davos and has taken a bunch of hits in the face by pucks that were meant for teammates. Like Davos' finger stumps, these injuries have taken a toll on him. He had to retire early due to head injuries. He is now a mentor to young players who will hopefully appreciate his team loyalty.

What a Nice Guy!

"An admiral without ships, a hand without fingers, in service of a king without a throne. Is this a knight who comes before us, or the answer to a child's riddle?” A Dance With Dragons

~Beddee

Sandor Clegane - The Hound

The Hound is seriously one character I feel completely conflicted about. I think we are being set up to hate the guy. Maybe I just try to see the good in people (except Joffrey, The Mountain and Qyburn), but I don't think Sandor is heartless. Maybe just misunderstood? He is such an enigma! Is he bad? Is he good? Is he a pervy chimo? Is he not a pervy chimo? Is he dead? Is he alive? I could go on and on! But the thing is..I don't know the answer to any of these questions! One thing we can all agree on. The Hound is one ugly dude. (No offense to his portrayer, Rory McCann, who is quite lovely in real life).

To be fair, Sandor probably wouldn't be so ugly if half his face wasn't burnt off. He is quite sensitive about this. It was burnt by his brother (the truly evil Gregor aka The Mountain) when he was a child. His dad covered up this fact by saying that Sandor was burnt by his bedding when it caught on fire. This makes Sandor hate his brother, fire and even knighthood. One could say he has a big old chip on his shoulder. People call him The Hound for a variety of reasons. One is only because his family's crest is 3 dogs. Oh and his helmet looks like this.

The Hound is considered a great fighter, but refuses to be a knight because he thinks it's lame or something. He instead joins House Lannister where Joffrey just loves him. He is also called The Hound because of his obedience to his masters. Ugh, obedient to Joffrey..I can't even think about it!

Reasons to hate Sandor: I am going to do the hate section first again because I believe we are supposed to hate The Hound. Although not as bad as his brother, he is pretty brutal and murders without having a major problem with it. He earns a place on Arya's death list when he kills her friend Mycah, the butcher's boy. He does this for Joffrey's benefit and it's really mean. He also helps kill Ned Stark's entourage and doesn't seem to feel bad about any of his murders. It's just something he does. He later kidnaps Arya and they have quite an adventure. He is also a huge drunk and gets really sloppy a lot of the time.

Sansa Stark: I am putting the Sansa situation in the middle of my love and hate section because I really don't know what to think about it. The Hound takes a liking to Sansa (who is 13), but it's really not clear why. We only get Sansa's point of view and she doesn't have the best memory or sense. He calls her "little bird" and protects her from Joffrey's wrath whenever possible. He also saves her from being raped from an angry mob. After the Battle of Blackwater, there is a bit of an incident with the two of them when Sandor is planning to escape. Sansa seems to think they kiss but I don't think they actually do. Fans call this the UnKiss. Me, I honestly don't think Sandor is a pervert. I think he likes Sansa because she is beautiful and delicate and he wants to protect her. He is a little crazy and probably scares her, but I really don't think he wants to do her any harm. It's so weird because they are HUGE in the fanfiction community! I suppose he is better than Joffrey!

And the FF community goes wild!

Reasons to love the Hound: This one is for you Saucer! The Hound totally saves Loras from his terrible brother The Mountain. This alone should make Sandor A-Ok. Loras would most likely be dead if it wasn't for him. Check it out here:

Another great reason to like The Hound is the fact that he ditches Joffrey after the Battle of Blackwater and tells him to fuck off. Ha ha, he has go on the run after that, but it was so worth it! Poor guy was scared of the wildfire and you can't blame him for that.

High School: Can you say emo kid?! Oh Sandor would totally be emo. He wouldn't like the popular kids at all and would be against organized sports. He is not good looking and would have scars all over his face. His brother would be a huge bully and he is embarrassed by him. As for friends, he wouldn't really have any. He might hang out with one asshole brat in one of his classes from time to time, but wouldn't really like him. He would drink heavily by himself during lunch and rarely make it to class. Teachers hate Sandor for getting into a ton of fights and he would always be getting suspended. Sandor is older than the other students due to being held back a lot. He would have a crush on a popular girl who was polite to him a couple times, but he never asks her out. And other girls would never even look twice at him. Aww, Sandor's high school life is totally depressing me! But it's spot on. Hmm, let's make him have something happy in his life. I know! He would volunteer at the animal shelter and taking the dogs for walks. That's all I got!

Let's Mix in Some Sticks: First of all, we will just have to pretend Sandor would actually be on a real hockey team in the first place. Realistically, he would probably just be the best street hockey player in his neighborhood. But since I need to pick out a player he is like, I would probably go with Zdeno Chára of the Boston Bruins. This guy has the brutality and attitude of The Hound. I am going to zero in on the Pacioretty Incident in which Chára injured another hockey player named Max Pacioretty during a game. This poor guy was left with a severe concussion and cracked vertebra thanks to Chára. The police were even investigating it for awhile! But Chára didn't really seem all that put out or sorry about it. He seemed to think that it was just part of the game so whatever. Pacioretty = The Butcher's Boy. Let's put him on Arya's list! But like The Hound, I am sure he isn't all that bad. He is married and has a little daughter. I am sure they soften him up a little bit off the ice.

If only I had photoshop..The Hound's helmet would SO be on Chára's head right now!


~Beddee