BFFs 4 Life
Poor Sam. He is really fat, really cowardly and his backstory just about breaks my heart. Sam's father is Lord Randyll Tarly. As you can tell by his name, he is very important since he is a Lord and all. Lord Randyll had high hopes for Sam, his heir. But Sam was never interested in fighting or violence. He prefers reading, art and music. This frustrated his dad to no end and tried to toughen him several times to no avail. When he eventually had another son who was more to his liking, he decided to make the younger son his heir instead. So he told Sam to join the Night's Watch. It was that, or he would see that Sam suffered an unfortunate hunting "accident". Nice dad. Sam decided that he was too young to die, so he headed on up to The Wall and he was scared to death. Here is where he suffers many rude nicknames reserved for the overweight. Ser Piggy and Lord of Ham etc. But despite his cowdardly ways, Sam can totally kick ass when he absolutely has too. Like when weird ass zombie people (seriously what ARE those things) come to attack everyone.
Reasons to love Sam: Sam is easy to root for because you just feel so darn sorry for him! And then when Jon decides to protect him from the other meanies in the Night's Watch, it just makes you love Jon THAT must more. Check out this video of poor Sam trying to "fight" one of his fellow brothers.
Jon saves the day! Hooray! But before you write Sam off as Jon's sidekick, he really does come into his own eventually. When he has to go out beyond The Wall, he has many strange encounters. He even meets a girl, Gilly! She is one of gross old Craster's wife/daughter combinations (uh ewww) and she is pregnant. But Sam feels empathy towards her and eventually helps her escape. And (spoiler alert) he even gets laid! Go Sam.
Gilly is pretty cute for an inbred chick
Sam not only has a way with the ladies, he also holds his own in an Others/White Walkers attack, even killing one with a piece of dragonglass. All of his brothers are pretty impressed and he earns the nickname "Sam the Slayer" and is pretty embarrassed about the whole thing.
Reasons to hate Sam: Sam is very annoying a lot of the time. I hate to say it, but it's true. He is always whining about how he is such a coward when it's been proven otherwise over and over again. It's almost like he is fishing for compliments. Even Jon gets sick of him and sends him off on a boat with Gilly and Master Aemon to study abroad. You would think Sam would like this turn of events, but he just gets worried that Jon doesn't like him anymore. His lack of confidence gets really old and I find myself dreading his chapters a lot of the time. Luckily, he finally snaps out of it when he hears some cool stories about dragons and decides to go look for them (and hopefully Dany)!
Quit feeling sorry for yourself Sam..you killed one of these guys!
High School: Ugh, I was just imagining how annoying Sam's Facebook page would be if he had one.
Samwell Tarly is sad because he is a coward and nobody likes him.
Jon Snow: Sam, how many times must I tell you that you are cool and braver than you think.
Grenn: Shut up Ser Piggy! You know you are great.
Gilly: You are super, super awesome Sam.
Samwell Tarly: I still think I suck.
It would go on and on. Sam would always be feeling sorry for himself and everyone would have to constantly reassure him. So he would be a typical teenager! A fat and dorky one who would love his theater class and be in Honor's English. He wouldn't like P.E. at all, especially getting changed in the locker room. Although he would lack confidence, he would have an ultra cool best friend who would make sure the other kids were nice to him. As for girls, I think they would love Sam and always go to him for dating advice. They would never think of Sam as a potential boyfriend, which would frustrate him. But maybe there would be one super shy and weird girl that would eventually give him a chance.
Let's Mix in Some Sticks: So I once again consulted Saucer about who would be a Samwell-esque hockey player. I knew there wouldn't be a clear answer, given Sam's unsporty and overweight description. But there is one hockey player named Dustin Brown of the Los Angeles Kings that could probably relate to Sam. I looked at his wiki page here and found out that Dustin was a victim of bullying! After further investigation, I discovered that he started out as a young teenager and was mocked by a teammate for having a lisp and a not-hot girlfriend (Gilly??). After reading another article, it seems as though he didn't reach his full potential until the bully, a fellow named Sean Avery, was off his team for good. Now he is a captain and a real winner. Plus he seems humble and does a lot of charity work. Sounds a lot like our Samwell Tarly!
OMG they are standing exactly the same way!