Brienne - The Maid of Tarth

I was inspired to do my Brienne profile after my last post. Brienne does not appear right away and doesn't really hit her stride until the third book. Then, she is given her own POV chapters in Book 4. Brienne is a really cool character and one of my favorites. She is described as extremely unattractive and mannish. She is tall, flat-chested and thick. Her face isn't much better, with an oft broken nose and she is covered in freckles. She does have pretty blue eye (noticed by Jaime, awww). All of this wouldn't be a huge deal, but Brienne is the only child of a noble family. Her dad wanted to marry her off to someone suitable, but that proved to be a difficult task. Brienne is much more interested in becoming a knight and focuses her energy on honing those skills.

This picture is from the second season of the HBO series. Brienne doesn't have a large role yet, but they did an excellent job casting her. I was a bit worried when they first showed the actress they casted, Gwendoline Christie. She is way pretty and was hoping they weren't going to "Hollywoodize" Brienne.

So far, I think she has done an excellent job of portraying Brienne. She even has a Twitter account! Check her out at https://twitter.com/lovegwendoline She is very funny and even talks about filming the show here and there. I just think she is great! But back to Brienne, the character. The poor thing has some mean nicknames. She is called the Maid of Tarth as a way to point out her virginity. Some of the men in Renly's camp make wagers on who can "take her maidenhead" in a cruel bet. She is also called Brienne the Beauty in a obvious mocking fashion. Despite the fact that she shows great skill with a sword, no one really takes her seriously as a knight because she is a woman. The only man who showed her any kindness was Renly Baratheon. He treated her courteously and with respect..so Brienne promptly fell completely in love with him. Oh Brienne honey, I don't think you are Renly's type!

Reasons to love Brienne: It is very easy to identify with Brienne. I think we've all felt uncomfortable in our own skin and felt like an outcast. Poor Brienne spent most of her early life stuffed into dresses and looking ridiculous. She was forced to play the part of a lady and did so poorly. Once she discovered she wanted to become a knight, there was no turning back. She is very loyal and wanted to use her skills and become a member of King Renly's Rainbow Guard (ha) to protect Renly. She eventually acheives her goal by defeating Ser Loras, the Knight of Flowers, in competition and becomes "Brienne the Blue" in the Rainbow Guard. Here is the scene of her defeating Loras.

LOL Loras is none too pleased by this turn of events! I think Brienne is making him a little bit jealous! But Renly can't go wrong with Brienne as a protector. Not only is she in love with him, she is the most loyal character in the series despite maybe Ned Stark. If she swears and oath to you, she takes it seriously and will fight until the end. When things don't turn out so well with Renly (sniff), she then pledges her services to Catelyn Stark and she proves to be just as loyal to her. Well, if she can stop flirting with her Kingslaying prisoner for 5 seconds!

Reasons to hate Brienne: There isn't really any reason to hate Brienne. As I mentioned before, In "A Sword of Storms", the story with Brienne and Jaime is one of my favorites. It was told from Jaime's point of view. In "A Feast for Crows", Brienne's storyline with Jaime is over for the most part, and her story is a bit boring to me. It picks up later, but I feel it is kind of pointless. She is searching for Sansa and Arya and we, as the readers, already know where those two are. So it's kind of boring to read about Brienne looking for them. Especially when she is way off!

High School: Aww Brienne is someone everyone can identify with in high school! She would be an ugly, nerdy girl who keeps to herself. She would be made fun of for her looks and wouldn't be able to hide because she was so tall. She would probably play a sport like basketball (or hockey?) and be better than all of the guys. But they wouldn't respect her because they would be jealous that she was better than them. And the guys would all invite her to prom as a big joke. But Brienne would have her own crushes that probably wouldn't lead to anything. She would have a crush on her gay best friend and would annoy the hell out of his boyfriend. The Jaime high school character would eventually be assigned as her lab partner and she would start out hating him. But then over time, she would soften towards him and have secret fantasies about him being her boyfriend.

Let's Mix in Some Sticks: So Saucer and I have been discussing this one for a couple of days. I asked her if there were any female hockey players that would work for Brienne. I guess there aren't and that's okay. Instead, we think we can put Brienne as a catalyst in one of the more popular hockey bromances. Let's go back to Saucer's Patrick Kane post and focus on the Patrick and Jonathan Toews bromance. They would totally be like Renly and Loras in the ASOIAF universe and Brienne would come between them. Her hockey counterpart is going to be T.J. Oshie!! Saucer will be doing a post on him soon, so stay tuned. I imagine him wanting to be Toews new best friend. Toews would like him all right, but it would make Patrick super mad!! Here is a picture of the three of them.

It looks like T.J. Oshie is dying to join Patrick and Johnny's Rainbow Guard.

I am going to end this post with a funny picture from Ser Loras's Twitter account (aka https://twitter.com/FinnJones). Adorable..Brienne and Loras getting along!

~Beddee

Jaime Lannister - The Kingslayer

Ahhh, Jaime!! Before I begin I would like to explain myself. Yes, Jaime is one of my ASOIAF crushes. Yes, I know he is pretty much a douche and he pushes children out windows and has sexy times with his sister. I feel kind of lame because as soon as I told Saucer about my crush, she was watching that one episode where he is beating the shit out of poor Ned and his entourage. I am fully aware of all of Jaime's flaws and I was not a big fan at first. But unlike Cersei, his point of view chapters really warmed me up to him. And his strange alliance with Brienne of Tarth really touched my heart. Plus, he totally looks like Sawyer from Lost. Look at this!

So Jaime has only one nickname that really counts and that is The Kingslayer. He is known as this based on his actions during "Robert's Rebellion" (when are we going to get a prequel detailing this whole story?!) Long story short, Jaime was part of the Kingsguard sworn to protect King Aerys II aka The Mad King aka Dany's daddy. The king had a terrible plan that would kill everyone in Kings Landing by fire. Jaime slew the king before this could happen, Robert Baratheon took the throne and everyone was saved. Honestly, Jaime did real good here saving the city and all. But no one really knows why he did what he did and he is given a lot of crap for his betrayal (I'm looking at you, Brienne). So Jaime is called The Kingslayer by all the realm.

Reasons to love Jaime: Jaime is very handsome and looks like a male Cersei. He is considered to be the best knight ever and wins tons of tournaments with that sword of his. If you aren't into sports, Jaime is quite humorous. I like his chapters because a lot of humor comes through, even in the darkest of times. He can come across as arrogant but he does it in a funny way. Also, he is way nicer to Tyrion than Cersei is and genuinely is fond of him. Anyone who has Tyrion's back is okay with me!

Reasons to hate Jaime: See my intro. Jaime is kind of crazy..about Cersei. If it wasn't for Cersei, Jaime would be a lot more reasonable. To be fair, he truly seems to love her and is completely faithful to her. But it's his freaking SISTER and it's not cool to do the things he does. Even if they are "the things he does for love."

Brienne, the Maid of Tarth: Okay if I were to ship anyone in these books, I would totally ship Jaime and Brienne! Yes they meet under some strange circumstances and they hate each other for a lot of it. And don't forget he is her prisoner! But I think Brienne makes him human again. She is like the anti-Cersei. She is ugly, mannish and has a heart of gold. I love them together! Their scenes are some of my favorites in the books and I can't wait until they get to them in the show. Here is an early picture of their growing friendship (or whatever you want to call it).

High School: I was totally ready to have Jaime be the high school male version of Cersei but then I got to thinking. I actually don't think he would be like that at all. He would definitely be a jock, but also kind of a loner. He wouldn't have that many male friends and would be aloof to all the girls who would be super fans. As with Cersei before him, I don't think his incest would translate into today's high school arena. He would be dating a really popular, pretty and shallow girl and having lots of hot sex with her. He would convince himself that he was in love with her. But there would be nerdy and ugly girl in one of his classes he wouldn't be able to get out of his mind no matter how hard he tried.

Let's Mix in Some Sticks: Like Saucer in her most recent post, we are going to start connecting the world of hockey with the world of Game of Thrones. Since I am so new to hockey, I consulted Saucer about Jaime. She said that he would definitely be a player name Tyler Seguin. According to her, he is a "sexy, hot mess". Sounds a lot like our Jaime! According to his Wikipedia page, he is quite the hockey player. He is to hockey what Jaime is to jousting. And I agree with Saucer regarding his looks. Look at this guy!

I chose this particular picture rather than one of the many "shirtless" ones that showcase his "assets" better. This picture reminds me of Jaime. Substitute that stick for a sword, throw some knight-wear on him and send him to the realm!! Wait, Tyler doesn't have a twin sister, does he?

~Beddee

Cersei Lannister - The Evil Queen

Finally a post about a character who is really hard to like! I call her Cersei Lannister even though her last name should really be Baratheon. But everyone calls her Lannister . But she hates her husband (a fact she barely conceals) so it doesn't really matter. She doesn't mind being the Queen though. And she does quite a lovely job. Here is a picture of her and King Robert acting all royal. That adorable little boy next to them is the better of the two sons, Tommen. Joffrey is a little asshole with no redeeming qualities. But I will go into that later. Too bad Joffrey is next in line for the throne.

Yeah yeah, Cersei is sooooo pretty and regal looking. Ugh, she is probably plotting evil schemes in that very picture. Probably thinking evil thoughts about our beloved Starks. Cersei loves power and would do anything to have it for herself or for her children. She is of the noble family, Lannister, and is sister to Tyrion and twin sister to Jaime, the greatest knight in the realm. She doesn't really have any nicknames besides Queen, Queen Regent and Lady of Casterly Rock. But she doesn't need any. She is considered to be the most beautiful woman in the realm and she is the Queen, duh! Oh, and that twin brother I mentioned earlier. Cersei is totally doing him. Ewwww! Here is a picture of those two sickos.

Oh who am I kidding, if they weren't related they might be kind of a cute couple. I really enjoy Lena Heady, who plays Cersei. It was probably hard to find an actress who lives up to the beauty described in the books. But she totally works it. I think she really hits her stride in Season 2 and I absolutely think she deserved an Emmy nomination for her work.

Reasons to love Cersei: Well I guess if you are really superficial and going by looks alone, Cersei would definitely win Westeros's Next Top Model. But she would probably "take care of" any prettier contestants so who knows. Hmm, well Cersei is a good mom to her little monster, Joffrey and her other kids. Here is a clip of Tyrion describing her better qualities at around 2:20.

I guess you can admire Cersei for being sexually adventurous. Men, women, kings, knights, fools, cousins, brothers..the list goes on! Cersei gets around and gets away with it. And I think her love for Jaime is genuine, however twisted that may be.

Reasons to hate Cersei: Late, I will go into Cersei vs. Ned Stark, Sansa Stark and basically everybody who has the last name Stark. They are the story's heroes, more or less, and Cersei is a direct antagonist. But I honestly didn't really hate Cersei until "A Feast for Crows" where we were treated to an inside look at her craziness via her point-of-view chapters. Although Tyrion hinted at it, I didn't realize just how cruel and ruthless our queen really was. Some of the things she does are unspeakable and her alliance with the torturer, Qyburn is something out of a horror movie. Plus, she really is horrible to her little brother Tyrion (who I love). She blames him for their mother dying and does anything to make his life hell. She apparently never showed Tyrion any kindness in her life. Though I don't want to spoil anything, even Jaime is not off limits for her cruelty. Screw you, Cersei! I am glad you are on Arya's death list. Let's see how that turns out for you.

High School: Ha ha, I feel kind of bad for any male/female twins out there who have Game of Thrones fans for friends. They probably have to suffer side eyes and people wondering if they do it Lannister style! I seriously doubt I had any twincestual twins in my high school, so I will skip that. Cersei would be the head cheerleader, queen bee, total bitch-slut of any high school. But everyone would want to win her approval anyway. She would be dating the most popular guy in high school (prom king, perhaps?) and would be cheating on him. Probably not with her brother, but who knows! There's not much else to say about her high school alter ego. It's probably the most obvious one!

With that I will leave you with this beautiful and sinister picture of Queen Cersei on the Iron Throne.

~Beddee

Tyrion Lannister, Former Hand of the King

Tyrion is my second character profile and I feel he is one of the all time best. Like Dany before him, he is called a lot of other names throughout the book. Unfortunately for him, they are not all positive! As a dwarf in this particular time period, poor Tyrion has had to endure many hardships. He is lucky he is of a noble, rich family or else he most likely would not have seen adulthood.

So here are some of his nicknames: Tyrion Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock (um, sort of, if his dad didn't hate him), Master of Coin, Hand of the King. These are the good ones. He is also called The Imp, The Halfman, "Giant" of Lannister and pretty much any other derogatory name you could call a short man, let alone a dwarf! I, personally, find him quite handsome.

It is pretty much a given that Peter Dinklage is superb in his role (see his Emmy and Golden Globe). I honestly cannot see anyone else playing Tyrion, it is like the role was written for him. The only complaint some may have is that Mr. Dinklage is too good-looking. Tyrion is described as much uglier (almost monstrous) in the books.

Reasons to love Tyrion: He is basically the only lovable Lannister (well, more on that in another post)! You wish there was a way to root for him without rooting for his stupid sister and nephew. Like in the Battle of Blackwater. Tyrion fought and showed his true bravery and skills. Not like anyone would recognize it. Tyrion is super sweet to whores too. He has such a soft spot for them and you can tell he likes their personalities in addition to their "skills". Though he is not always the smartest when it comes to these women, Tyrion is one of the most clever characters in all the books. He gets himself out of all kinds of tricky situations. Look at how he avoids getting thrown out of a castle and into thin air:

Yay for Tyrion!! Oh yes, how could I forget..he also slaps Joffrey around!! This reason alone should make him everyone's favorite character for life.

Reasons to hate Tyrion: Okay, I love Tyrion and all but I must say he IS a bit on the ruthless side when it comes to his family pissing him off. I don't want to give anything away, but damn dude! (See the end of "A Storm of Swords").

There is actually nothing I overly dislike about Tyrion. His POV chapters are always entertaining and his story is one of my favorites. I really missed him in the fourth book and am happy to see him back in the fifth. I just feel so bad for him sometimes! It sucks that his sister is such a bitch to him and that she is also the Queen. She is able to make life hell for the poor guy. No wonder he drink so much mead and wine! That Tyrion can guzzle it down!

Bronn and Varys: I love Tyrion's interaction with both of these men! Even though you can't really trust either of them, it's nice to see that some people recognize that Tyrion is pretty damn cool.

High School: Well, Tyrion would totally be the son of a rich family and his siblings would be the most popular kids in school. He would be a bit of a class clown, but all of his teachers wouldn't be able to deny his cleverness. He would have crushes on all the trashy sluts and they would probably date him just because they would want to get close to his family (mostly his brother). He would be a loner and only have a couple of close friends who he drinks with. They probably have their own chess club and drink heavily as they try to outwit each other.

Three cheers for Tyrion Lannister! Sometimes great things come in small packages indeed.



~Beddee